First cuckoo of spring this morning.

There are about the same number of astronomical units in a light year as there are inches in a mile. (63,240 against 63,360, a difference of 0.2% .)

So if you made a scale model of the solar system with the Earth one inch from the Sun, Alpha Centauri would be over 4 miles away.

An augury

Got home from town and was just turning into my front path, when a hawk flew down with a smaller bird in its talons, and landed on the lawn. The hawk clawed at its prey for a couple of seconds, but must have been put off by my presence, because the small bird escaped and flew off. The hawk pursued it, but it got away.

This means something good, right?

First daffodils spotted.

So it's come to this - overheard on a bus

Male student: ..I'm not liking this new job, I get oil all over my hands
Female student: You want to get some Swarfayga
Male student: What's that then?
Female student: It's not very nice, like green jelly, smells funny, but it gets oil and stuff right off your skin
Male student: Where'd I get that from?
Female student: Any cleaning shop. Swarfayga, s-w-a-r-f-e-g-a
Male student: Yeah, I'll get some of that then, I need some of that in my house

Doctor Who spin-offs no.3

Vorg v the Borg

ST:TNG/DW crossover in the Allo Allo vein of badly misjudged comedy treatment of extreme evil.

As the Borg run rampant through the galaxy, a bureacratic mixup leaves the defence in the hands of showman Vorg and his assistant Shirna. Each week they blunder their way to defeat, escaping assimilation by the skin of their teeth.

I see a kind of Prisoner style meta-drama where Leslie Dwyer assumes narrative control, resulting in an increasingly dark series 2 where Vorg is driven mad by his experiences, and an ambiguous conclusion where he rips off a Borg's prostheses to reveal the mocking face of Pletrac. Other clues - maintain fans - hint that the whole thing took place while Vorg had his head stuck inside the Miniscope.

Doctor Who spin-offs no. 2

Tegan/Tegana

Groundbreaking split-screen Ed Wood homage following the adventures of a Mongol warlord who secretly dresses as a flight attendant, and a DW companion/flight attendant who secretly dresses as a Mongol warlord.

Watch out for the hilarious Christmas episode where the two meet - on the same night that Tegan's boss, and Tegana's war-overlord, are coming to dinner!