Thursday, January 25, 2007

So it's come to this - overheard on a bus

Male student: ..I'm not liking this new job, I get oil all over my hands
Female student: You want to get some Swarfayga
Male student: What's that then?
Female student: It's not very nice, like green jelly, smells funny, but it gets oil and stuff right off your skin
Male student: Where'd I get that from?
Female student: Any cleaning shop. Swarfayga, s-w-a-r-f-e-g-a
Male student: Yeah, I'll get some of that then, I need some of that in my house

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Doctor Who spin-offs no.3

Vorg v the Borg

/DW crossover in the Allo Allo vein of badly misjudged comedy treatment of extreme evil.

As the Borg run rampant through the galaxy, a bureacratic mixup leaves the defence in the hands of showman Vorg and his assistant Shirna. Each week they blunder their way to defeat, escaping assimilation by the skin of their teeth.

I see a kind of Prisoner style meta-drama where Leslie Dwyer assumes narrative control, resulting in an increasingly dark series 2 where Vorg is driven mad by his experiences, and an ambiguous conclusion where he rips off a Borg's prostheses to reveal the mocking face of Pletrac. Other clues - maintain fans - hint that the whole thing took place while Vorg had his head stuck inside the Miniscope.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Doctor Who spin-offs no. 2


Groundbreaking split-screen Ed Wood homage following the adventures of a Mongol warlord who secretly dresses as a flight attendant, and a DW companion/flight attendant who secretly dresses as a Mongol warlord.

Watch out for the hilarious Christmas episode where the two meet - on the same night that Tegan's boss, and Tegana's war-overlord, are coming to dinner!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Doctor Who spin-offs no.1

Eldrad, Eldrad and the Eldreds

Family sitcom starring the female and male versions of the Kastrian anarch. Strong Big John, Little John vibe with Eldrad changing helplessly between sexes at inopportune moments.

Light relief provided by Saxon Eldred from Time Meddler as their inept son, Prof Eldred from Seeds of Death as cantankerous old Grandad, and Sophie Aldred as their comedy rebellious teenage daughter.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Face of Evil

I've just finished watching for the first time The Face of Evil, which has always been one of my favourite Targets. The Doctor's musings about Sarah! The Horda! The black wall! The ultrabeam accelerator! The vast carving of the Doctor's face! The moment where the Sevateem finally gaze on the plain beyond the mountains, where lies Paradise!

Musings - absent. Horda - rubber. Black wall - plastic (I was at least expecting a CSO effect). Carving - too small. Plain - too briefly glimpsed. And the Tesh were very silly indeed.

Things which worked. The Sevateem - reasonably convincing, tho Neeva was balder than I imagined. Leela - tops from the word go. The 'invisible monsters have Doctor's face' - a lot better than I expected by that point. Xoanon's voices - not at all bad. Doctor/Leela final scene - if anything, better than the book, where the Doctor's 'but I don't cart them round the universe with me' comes across as rather harsh and cold, but on screen has much more warmth.